So, I guess I have to have some dental work done. Like, some serious dental work.
Basically, when I was a kid (like, before sixth grade), I brushed my teeth regularly. I didn't like it, but my mom usually made sure that I did it when I got up in the mornings and when I went to bed. See, she did what (I think) Moms are supposed to do: take care of you by making sure you're taking care of yourself. She did a very good job of it.
But, then one day my parents got divorced. Boo hoo, right? Anyway, my mom left and I lived with my dad from sixth grade through out of high school. He did what (I think) Dads are supposed to do: put a roof over your head & put food on the table. I mean, I'm pretty sure he loved/loves me, but that doesn't mean he's gonna make sure I'm brushing my fucking teeth every day. So, about the time my parents got divorced, I stopped brushing my teeth as frequently. And this went extremely unnoticed. For a very long time.
Fast forward to a couple of years ago, when I started noticing my teeth were hurting and breaking and sometimes even falling out. I had/have a fuck-ton of cavities. Anyone who knows anything about anyone in The Sailing, knows that all four of us...we love our snacks. And I have loved snacks for quite a long time. But, I have not loved brushing my teeth.
So, like, a week ago I had a three-day toothache extravaganza that basically forced me into scheduling a dentist appointment. I have had less dentist appointments in my life than there are fingers on my hands, easily. So this was a pretty momentous occasion. So, yesterday, I went to my appointment. My dentist, he's a real nice guy, but he told me some really shitty news and that's:
I HAVE TO HAVE FIVE (5) FILLINGS AND NINE (9) TEETH REMOVED.
So, I'm like...wait...what? And basically, it boils down to the fact that I have ignored my teeth for a ridiculously long time and am now going to pay the price. So, my first reaction is: well, how am I going to eat? And Dr. Jonson tells me, "Well, we would replace the teeth." And I'm like, "With what?" And he says, "With partials." And I'm like, "What are partials?" And he's like, "Well...partial dentures."
Wwwwwwwhhhhhhhaaaaaaattttttt???????
So yeah, apparently they would salvage the teeth that can be salvaged by giving them fillings (tooth-colored fillings no less so it doesn't look like I'm chewin' on tin foil), and then remove three baby teeth (yes, baby teeth...I still have three...sigh...), and then remove the six teeth that I guess are too fucked up with cavities too repair. The ones they would remove are all molars/back teeth so I mean, I wouldn't look like a fucking hockey player or anything. But, I would have to be without those teeth for about "three or four months."
Wwwwwwwhhhhhhhaaaaaaattttttt???????
Yeah, I guess I have to, like, chew with my bicuspids & incisors and shit. For "three or four months." Geez... Anyway, after all that's done they will make a mold of my teeth or something and then create new molars for me and then I guess it just fits into my mouth and latches on to some teeth that will actually still be there. And it holds in place apparently. Because the last thing I need is for my fucking grill to fly out of my mouth while I'm singing "The Funeral Dancer" on stage, know what I mean? So yeah, they'll make two of these "partials" (one for the top half of my mouth and one for the bottom) and then I'll have a bunch of new teeth.
The price for all this dental work is simply stunning and I don't wish to imagine it any further.
I've been brushing my teeth regularly for about a year and a half...maybe even two years now. But, clearly it's too little too late. If only my fervor for snacks could've been matched by a fervor for dental hygiene. Damn... So yeah, there you have it. Eventually, Tech Honors, vocalist of The Sailing, will have dentures. But, I don't think I'll call them that. I think I'll just call them "partials." But, at least I'll be able to chew properly again, right?
I'm actually a lot more upset and hurt inside than I am letting on, but nobody likes a crybaby. Besides, it's my own damn fault. So, instead I'll just laugh and make fun of the whole situation.
That's the true The Sailing way.
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3 comments:
while i can't imagine what getting a partial will feel like emotionally, i can tell you that i know what it's like that have a foreign object in your mouth that you have to try to pretend are real teeth - and it sucks.
the bridge they installed into my mouth is bigger than my old teeth - straight up. it took a good 6 or so months or so to get used to having a hulking piece of porcelain in my mouth, and to this day it bothers me from time to time. i remember when i first had it in i'd always clank teeth with my lady friend while smoochin and such, and i had to reserve my participation from the VB fight club in fear that my bridge would be broken.
but what-the-fuck-ever you know? life goes on, no one can tell the difference, and in the end it will result in you being able to eat more of what you want (laffy taffy), you'll experience less mouth pain in general, and you just won't have to deal with mouth problems ever again.
at the end of the day you're still tech honors - 1/2 of the icy/hot creative cauldron that fuels the sailing's insane rage! (i'm the other half, then gus and mike are a half lol - it doesn't matter though, as they'll never read this or update their lame blogs)
p.s. - i just wanted to edit my comment for one typo, but apparently you have to delete the whole thing. so now it looks like i said something inflammatory and deleted it, but unfortunately that's not the case.
Wow man that sucks but hey look on the bright side you can pull the "partials" out as a party trick lmao that would be amazing while on stage you just all of a sudden take them out for a cleaning lmao that would rule ^_^
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